I deep-throat him, tease him my tongue, look up into his eyes the way girls do. While I am reluctant, I do it anyway, and do it right.
After a few minutes, he would unbutton his jeans and make me blow him. After he sees that I ain't stopping him, he would take it further, like kissing my neck and stroking my thigh. I'm always intoxicated in the fantasy, and the guy would make sure I'm pretty loaded before he makes his move, like stroking my shoulder or something. In his place, we would kick back on the sofa and watch some movie, and the guy would gradually scooch closer. He invites me to his place to chill with a drink. He pretends to be straight, even though I know he's gay. My favorite is when I meet some dude in a club. I would make up many scenarios of guys seducing me and such. In my fantasies, I am always bottom and sort of feminine in my behavior. But I did want to do those things, if only to satisfy this untamable want. I'm seriously not into dudes, and I would feel disgusted with myself the second I finished coming. I wanted to suck a dick, too, and swallow cum. More accurately, I was fantasizing getting fucked by a guy. I was turned on by the taboo (and yes, most straight guys find gay sex taboo even if modern times dictate otherwise).Īnd so, after over a year of beating off to tranny/gay porn, I had begun to fantasize about having sex with a guy. Moving on from trannies to full-on gay was quick and painless to my surprise. At times, I can almost imagine myself being in a relationship with one. I was really into it, as some of them are super-hot. I guess that's when it really escalated for me, when I found myself watching trannies. It didn't take long until I had graduated into some seriously fucked-up sex, all in pursuit of quick and explosive orgasms. if it's on the internet, I've watched it. So I had started watching gang bangs, cuckolding, BDSM, humiliation, grannies, midget chicks getting pounded, you name it. I needed something different, more exciting, even if I wasn't necessarily into that type of sex. Conventional sex wasn't cutting it for me anymore. With time, I found myself growing desensitized by porn. I pull my pants down, put some shit on, and five minutes later, I want to be relieved. It would take too long to really get myself going, and I was never the kind of guy who enjoyed watching porn for hours at a time. Or maybe I am turned on, but not to the extent that I'm looking for. Nowadays, I am barely turned on watching plain old vaginal sex. The thing about porn is that it grows duller over time.
If I had to guess, I would say it's the product of years of watching porn. And yet, I had been having these crazy fantasies for a couple of years now of having sex with a dude.
I have never found guys attractive, not even in the slightest. I'm decent-looking with a so-so body and as straight as they come. I am a guy in his mid-thirties, 5' 11" tall on my best days and weighing 170 pounds. You can't put a price on freedom, and only the unfortunate among you will understand how lonely it can get, being trapped in a loveless relationship. I had a good lawyer, but he had taken me for every cent I had. I had spent the past twelve months squabbling in court with my vindictive ex-wife over child support and the custody of our two children. I ended my almost decade-long marriage, marriage that I had never been happy in.